23 August 2012. Boredom by plaster

Ah well, I just could not resist composing again.  I've done some paid work, and still I'm bored.  This plaster on my left hand is so frustrating, I just have to do something.  So, I hope readers like the new verse. One of these days, I may just publish an anthology of all these things. It all depends on the feedback I get. So, let me know what you think.

Post # 08/05/2012

Well, that's it.  Summer break is over. Back to the old grindstone. Who wants their work edited? Come one, come all.  I may have one hand in plaster, but I can still work with the other. Angle grinders are vicious beasties, and the next 6 weeks promise to be frustrating, and painful, with my left arm in a cast, but I'll manage somehow.  It does not affect my brain or my eyes. I welcome any work, and will return it quickly.  Otherwise, I'll just have to resort to composing more poetry to unleash on an unsuspecting world. Who will challenge me to find fault with their prose or spelling?

Some views on seasons.Post Nr 5, 6 july 2012

You lucky people in the Northern hemisphere!  Enjoying your summer?  Down here, it's a miserably wet cool winter.  Daily maxima of approximately 10 Degree Celsius, nights of  mostly 4-8  degrees. True, not extreme by Northern standards, but for locals it's quite unpleasant. Of course, just to bring this into perspective, Alice Springs, in the HOT centre of Australia, is currently "enjoying" night minima of -4C.  Compare that to their summer daily maxima of 40+ C, with night temperatures of 10-15C. To convert these to Fahrenheit, a quick rule of thumb is; double the C, add 30.   Why am I writing about this?  Well, I seem to be waiting for authors to come back to work!  It appears to me that all of them are on "Summer Break".  It's easy for me to talk about 'The Alice", as I have worked in that part of the country for three and a half years. Radio receprtion almost zero, TV? What's that? If one is very lucky, a vague image comes through. If you live more than 100 miles from  Alice Springs township, it requires a very tall aerial.  Where I'm going with this, is to say that unless you are a reader, it gets boring for anyone who has some cognitive brain function. That's one reason my English is so good, I read to retain my sanity.
The local wildlife is not very varied, (Dromedary camels, goats, snakes, lizards, the ubiquitous dingo, and the occasional kangaroo), and as such, there's not much hunting. Fishing is non existent unless there is a 1 in 100 year rainfall. Of course, to do anything like this, one needs to obtain permission to do so from the local indigenous tribe first!
With this slack time, I've become so bored, I've resorted to writing poetry. Expect to see some on a sidebar soon. This does not mean I have stopped editing, it's just a way to showcase my (English) linguistic flexibility, my warped sense of humour, and the way I pick up writers' faux pas. Hope you enjoy it.

Post 4

Well,still surviving, if a little bruised. I'm obviously going to have to watch my Ps and Qs a little more carefully. There are some very tender egos out there. Suggesting to an author that they may have made a mistake in their MS is fraught with danger. Where did this dreadful practice of using apostrophe s as plural come from? "Friend's" begs the question"Friend's WHAT?", whereas "Friends" refers to more than one friend, but somehow the former version seems to have become the standard usage for the latter. Just reading an ebook becomes painful with this sort of error. I mean, I've heard about self publishing, but PLEASE, get someone who knows what they are about to check the work first! You owe it to your readers, and your self respect as an author. English is a language that is tetchy, with socalled "modern variations" being given as the excuse for bad spelling or grammar, but most of the world that uses English as a means of communication uses STANDARD SPELLINGS! The poor devils who are from a background other than English speaking, and desperately trying to learn the language, don't cope well with errors in what is purportedly written English. Believe me, I know. Been there, done that. In spades, since Australians don't really speak English. Most of them come close, but not quite. There is a phrase used in this country-"Telling someone where to go", which equates to the British term "Sod off" or a ruder equivalent. DEFINITELY NOT giving someone directions. At least written English does not usually have nasal twangs in pronunciation. Sometimes, I go back to reading Nietsche in the German,just to get a break. Götterdämmerung does not have many errors left in it. For that matter,nor does a Dutch version of Napoleon's biography. Unfortunately, my French is not good enough for the original version. Still, telling an author that "roux" does not mean "roué" didn't go down well either. Why is it so hard for some people to accept that others may speak more than one language? It's almost unheard of in Europe to NOT speak more than one. For me, I feel that it's an extra string to my bow, and there's no extra charge while I'm proof reading.:-) Oh well, I'll just sit back and keep busy for now. My original offer still stands, just look at my first post. As soon as I work out how to post my prices in the side bar, I'll do so. Soon.

3rd Post 02/06/2012 (Australia)

Well, I've had plenty of time to read, as there's no incoming yet. The trouble is, I just get mad at the puerile errors I see. A breast may be a small PEAK, but to sneak a look at one is to PEEK! A fireplace has a mantel, not a cloak. ( mantle). An horse (yes, AN horse) neighs,whinnies, or nickers.It does not say nay, nor does it wear knickers! Prairie oysters are NOT BULLOCKS. Bullocks are draught oxen. 'Chard' is broadleaf vegetable, 'charred' is a state of being after fire.A plaintiff in court, may utter a 'plaintive' cry after losing a court case, but they are NOT the same thing! How can people call themselves authors, when/ if they cannot even get these simple things right. Why write 'site' or 'cite', when they mean 'sight'? ( Or any incorrect variation within these three?)No wonder migrants from a non English speaking background have trouble learning English. I read so many reviews from dissatisfied readers about ebooks, and yet very few of these books ever seem to be properly edited/proofread. I'm beginning to believe that computer generated words must carry some blame, but proof reading should catch these. So why is it not happening? Are editors/proofreaders pricing themselves out of the market? Are they demanding unreasonable fees? Is home publishing ignoring quality control, or are there people out there trying to cash in on a new market, without regard for the language? If an author is charging $0.99 for a book, and editors charge $200-300 to proofread, how eager is an author to pay such fees? Even then, you have to be lucky, and get a GOOD editor.I've seen books that have allegedly been edited at least twice, and they are still PATHETIC! I call it fraud, when they take money under false pretenses like that. When an author finishes a book, it should only need to be edited ONCE, if the editor knows his/her stuff. Well, I guess that's my gripe for this week, but I hope a few authors have read these comments and taken them to heart. Good luck, and may the muse be with you. And remember, a mews is where the falcons were kept. :-)Rob.

Slow going . My 2nd post

I think I might have been a little optimistic here. Still no takers for what I thought was a very fair offer. All things considered though, I'm sure I'm doing better than many others. After all, 2 comments, and 2 followers in 10 days is probably quite good in a limited field like this. It's not like I can go out there trolling for customers. The established authors all have a tried and true system set up already, and new ones are trying to avoid the pitfalls found on the Internet. The number of scams out there are just frightening, folks. I wonder how many new authors worry about sending their baby out for checking, only to see it published under someone else's name? Quel horreur! That's what copyrights are for. And anyone who has that happen to them would surely feel proud that their work is considered good enough to steal? Still no consolation for all the heartache though, is it? Recovery of intellectual property can be costly, and long drawn out. The trouble is, I can reassure potential clients of my honesty and integrity until the cows come home, but in the end, it all comes back to faith and reputation. So, patience is my watchword. Come one, come all. Rob

My first post 16/05/2012 (Australia)

  Hello there world. Welcome to my little corner.
 Even as recently as a month ago, I would not have believed I would ever do this.  All because of buying a Kindle reader to save money on buying books, and accessing some that I could never hope to find in this godforsaken country.
 Then, when I started reading "Kindle books" I got so irate about all the errors, that I cut loose on Amazon.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered that they were willing to correct their books, but they would first PULL THE BOOKS from their website, and that corrections could take 4-6 MONTHS to correct. And, if you don't mind, I had to find the errors that I objected to, and provide them with Kindle reference numbers.  After that, when/if Amazon would correct these errors, I would receive a corrected copy, and the books would be re-instated on their sales lists.
 Now, strange as it may seem, I didn't accept that as a fair deal.  Especially for the authors!
So, I thought, what happens if I approach some of these authors directly??? ( You know, the old mountain and Mohamed bit).  I was amazed at some of the responses I received.
 Suffice to say, some good, some hostile, and none from others.  I always thought that authors would be only too happy, to have some-one offer to help them with better quality control for their readers.  Seems that I was wrong.  I've since been told that most authors have a very touchy ego, and ANY comment is perceived as negative, and criticism. Oops. Not what I was trying to do.
I've only been reading proper books since 1955, in 3 different languages, and I've read a LOT. Maybe I only retain somewhere between 60 and 85 percent, but that's still a lot! So what would I know about what readers want?
 So far, I've been offering my my 'suggestions' for corrections for free, but some of the authors who have accepted my comments have been so impressed that they have suggested that maybe I could legitimately use my talents to provide a service for authors;  For a FEE.  To be honest, I like that idea.
 I can't do much in the way of physical activity, because I have a severe heart condition, but , read and type? Yep, that I can do.  I've often been accused of having swallowed a dictionary, a comment which in Australia is considered an insult.  It's perfectly alright to drink yourself stupid 6 nights out of 7, as long as you can still roar out the local team's song. ( Never mind that the local code of 'football' is one that would shock the Visigoths.) But; to actually aspire to quality in a literary sense?  Bulls are full of it, 'mate'!  If you want to see some-one get stroppy, just ask my son about dictionaries, and lexicons.

So, I decided to look around at the prices charged in the industry.  WOW.  How do struggling newcomers afford them? They not only seem unreasonable but the words "exorbitant", and "excessive" feature in there somewhere for me. Given that e-books sell for a LOT  less than printed books, and are quite often short, (anywhere between 30 and 150 pages seem to be the norm), I would think fees for proofreading should be commensurately lower. By the same token, you, as an author, don't want to pay peanuts for a shoddy job, either. Because then you have to get it done again, and pay a higher fee anyway, There's no point in that, and , heaven forfend, it may even make your book worse, not better. Plus it delays the publishing of your work.

  So, my offer is this; Anyone who wants to sample my skills, may send me a sample of their work; ( no more than 50 kindle pages please) and have it proofread for FREE.   That is a 'One off' only, for each author.  After that, we can negotiate. Send it to me as an attachment to an email, in a Word doc format please.  I will return it the same way, with a separate doc giving your version, and my suggestions, and/or spelling corrections.  This is for books written in standard English, and I can adjust for 'English' or 'American' spelling.   I was considering a flat fee of $25 USD for anything up to 50 pages, and depending on how big the book might be, a reasonable rate for anything bigger. I'm happy to consider any suggested rates.   My door is open.  Just remember, I live in Australia, and my time zone is ridiculously out of synch with most of the civilised world in the northern hemisphere.