Almost a living lexicon: 23 August 2012. Boredom by plaster

Thursday 23 August 2012

23 August 2012. Boredom by plaster

Ah well, I just could not resist composing again. I've done some paid work, and still I'm bored. This plaster on my left hand is so frustrating, I just have to do something. So, I hope readers like the new verse. One of these days, I may just publish an anthology of all these things. It all depends on the feedback I get. So, let me know what you think.

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CONFLAGRATION

Across this land, a burning brand,

Will lead to consternation!

With trickling hose and bucket of sand,

They'll fight for conservation

Of house, of car, then there's the shed!

While fireballs roar overhead!

Where two years ago it was so wet,

Two metres of water stood, and yet,

Today we have a sea of grass,

A long way higher than your arse!

A cigarette, dropped into that?

A mile long fire front in no time flat!

A summer wind, from out of the North,

Will cause the bushfire to spring forth.

Then, when it hits the eucalypts,

The oils will foam out from the tips

Of those weird leaves, with that strong smell,

And men will see again those scenes from Hell!

You'll hear the firefighters wail,

"What happened to that fire trail?

We warned them! 'Keep it clear of scrub!'

They didn't! Now it's burning, Bub!"

"Now trees are down, across the track,

And ten foot flames just drive us back!"

"We have no hope, of getting in there,

To save the houses, and we despair!

Of saving property and lives, and yet,

They'll expect us to save it all, I'll bet!

They build their house under those trees,

And then they fall down on their knees.

"Oh please! Save my new house!

It's all so picturesque, so grouse!"

But have they cleared the ground?

No! They left all that fuel around!

That big gas tank, exposed against the wall,

First bit of flame? A fireball!

Everywhere, three years ago,

The gum tree trunks were black! And so,

You can't tell me they could not see then,

Those huge bushfires could come again!

They insist on living 'on the fringe'!

And their fire sense just makes you cringe!

A PUGGLE

I finally found an absurd word,

I previously had not ever heard!

You know, with words I like to juggle,

But I'd never even heard of 'puggle'!

It refers, I'm told, or so it seems,

To little baby monotremes!

This means the young of so strange a beast,

As the Echidna, and the platypus, at least!

When they hatch, from their egg (!?)

Before they grow strong enough in leg,

And spines, or fur, (whichever applies)

And they have not yet opened up their eyes!

Their mothers, hiding 'neath the ground,

Suckle their young, or so it's found!

The platypus, hiding in a burrow,

The echidna, often just rests in a furrow.

The young look like softly moulded clay,

But they grow bigger by the day!

To describe how they look, is very hard,

Much like an ocarina, just not scarred.

No holes to cover with one's fingers,

And that ‘soft’ emotion stays, and lingers.

They're so helpless, blind, and Oh, so cute,

Then they grow into a stubborn little- brute!

My pricing

Keep in mind that I am NOT a content editor, just a very accurate, very fast line editor- I will pick up context, tense, spelling, or general 'typos'. Even time conflicts quite often. If you accidentally change a character's name, or gender, I'll pick that up too. If you happen to use the male version of an expression instead of the female in French or German, I'll probably pick that up too. I know a lot, about a lot, but I expect you to do your own research where needed. If I think you're wrong, I'll put in a comment for you to check whatever. Ultimately though, it's YOUR book. You decide whether you want to accept my proposed changes. (After all, you may have a valid reason for using a particular phrase, or word.)

As for my pricing?- Quick, and easy. Minimum charge for any job is USD10.00, for anything up to 40 pages. After that, it's a flat rate of USD40 cents per page. EG; 93 pages? USD$37.20. 309 pages? USD$123.60.
Payment by/to Paypal with my email address as account name.
Of course, if it is a BIG MS, or very 'clean', I am always willing to negotiate my pricing downward. Subject to a quick preview by me, of course.
I will send an invoice for the work, and I would prefer a 25% retainer 'up front' for any job in excess of 400 pages from new customers.
I would expect to do almost any job in 24 to 72 HOURS, for any MS of less than 400 pages, unless the text is turgid, or there are a lot of errors. If you write a wheelbarrow full, then it may take as long as a week. (Still a lot faster than most!)
Any minor use of a common Western European language does not incur any extra fee. Even Afrikaans is no problem.

Almost a living lexicon

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Thursday 23 August 2012

23 August 2012. Boredom by plaster

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