Hello again, to my few readers. Sorry If I've been tardy about updating this site. My only excuse? I have been getting my first book of rhyming verses out there. This one is based on animals. "Elephants at Woomera' is now available on Kindle, for one measly Yankee dollar. I suspect it is only the first book, the rest will be about many other topics, different, but hopefully as funny.
Thank you, to all the people who have nagged, pushed, annoyed me to publish. It was all my own fault, really. If I had not been such a smart-aleck, sending various people examples of my verses, no one would have been laughing while they sent me exhortations to publish. And, it was a lot easier than I expected. So, to all the people who told me so- You were right! Thank you.

In the meantime, I have been told that my first ever raw MS proofreading has been published.  It felt strange, somehow, as I had previously only corrected books already published.  This one is not my baby, but I feel like I'm involved in the delivery somehow.

I will leave this here now, and go to the old poems, and replace them with something fresh. You've been patient, and deserve a change.

Greetings, world. It's been a while, I see, since I tried to motivate others to use my services. Sad to say, very few people seem to know I exist. My efforts have not gone completely unrewarded, but I'm not getting as much work as I'd like! I wonder, is my style too acerbic? Do people think I'm rude or arrogant? Sorry, folks! I have never suffered fools gladly. I take the view that if you want to use the English language to part readers from their hard earned, then it behooves you to spell CORRECTLY, get your tenses right, and don't change the names of your characters in the middle of your MS! Don't use quotes from Lewis Carroll  in a story set 30 years prior to "Alice through the looking glass", don't use expressions from a later Era in a different country while writing 'Regency', and, if you must throw in foreign expressions, for God's sake, GET THEM RIGHT! Unless your contempt for your readers is total, give them credit for seeing your errors. I know it's not easy, given the complexities of the language, and the various alleged 'Manuals of Style', but believe me, it can be done! I still believe that those manuals were written by vitriolic people who were just trying to destroy the original English language as a patriotic act against England! Or wanted to 'dumb it down'! A simple comma can make SO much difference to the meaning of a sentence! It's all very well for someone to say an author does not need to use one in front of 'and', but I beg to differ! But I firmly believe some authors find the argument convenient, because they DON'T KNOW when they should, or should not, use a comma! Alright, let's face it, we all make the occasional genuine 'typo', in fact I'm still guilty of it myself, I have just noticed! But to use 'breaks', instead of 'brakes'? Nope, that's not a typo, that's careless! Or worse. That's where a good, pedantic proofreader comes in. From what I've seen of late, some of THEM are too damn greedy for their own good, but let's face it, they can make a hell of a difference to the quality of the story! I personally find it discouraging to have an author tell me that they can see how good my work is, but they can't afford my very reasonable fees, or 'maybe, when I write my next book'  they may use my services.!! I'd rather they came straight out to say "We don't really care" or "Look, it's just too much work to switch my brain on", or even, just once,(!) to say  "It doesn't matter, our readers are too stupid to notice!" Oops! Did I just do it again? Come on, people! Accept that not every one is equally good at the language, and that some authors just don't give a hoot! I'm just a crusty old pedant, and your failures BUG ME! My personal failure is one of lacking faith in my own ability to use computer software. I have books I would love to publish, but I am somehow scared of the thought of losing my work in the process of formatting. I do things sometimes on my laptop, which then VANISH, only to re-appear out of nowhere when I least expect them. If only I knew how to find them again! I KNOW that they are in there somewhere, but I CAN'T FIND THEM! I keep telling myself it's a generational thing, but I think I'm going to have to face it, sooner or later. It's affecting my opinion of myself, damn it! And yet, people who can't spell, get it right! So frustrating! Ah well, one day! Enough for now.catch me later, or leave a comment.   I can take it, as well as dish it out.

23 August 2012. Boredom by plaster

Ah well, I just could not resist composing again.  I've done some paid work, and still I'm bored.  This plaster on my left hand is so frustrating, I just have to do something.  So, I hope readers like the new verse. One of these days, I may just publish an anthology of all these things. It all depends on the feedback I get. So, let me know what you think.

Post # 08/05/2012

Well, that's it.  Summer break is over. Back to the old grindstone. Who wants their work edited? Come one, come all.  I may have one hand in plaster, but I can still work with the other. Angle grinders are vicious beasties, and the next 6 weeks promise to be frustrating, and painful, with my left arm in a cast, but I'll manage somehow.  It does not affect my brain or my eyes. I welcome any work, and will return it quickly.  Otherwise, I'll just have to resort to composing more poetry to unleash on an unsuspecting world. Who will challenge me to find fault with their prose or spelling?

Some views on seasons.Post Nr 5, 6 july 2012

You lucky people in the Northern hemisphere!  Enjoying your summer?  Down here, it's a miserably wet cool winter.  Daily maxima of approximately 10 Degree Celsius, nights of  mostly 4-8  degrees. True, not extreme by Northern standards, but for locals it's quite unpleasant. Of course, just to bring this into perspective, Alice Springs, in the HOT centre of Australia, is currently "enjoying" night minima of -4C.  Compare that to their summer daily maxima of 40+ C, with night temperatures of 10-15C. To convert these to Fahrenheit, a quick rule of thumb is; double the C, add 30.   Why am I writing about this?  Well, I seem to be waiting for authors to come back to work!  It appears to me that all of them are on "Summer Break".  It's easy for me to talk about 'The Alice", as I have worked in that part of the country for three and a half years. Radio receprtion almost zero, TV? What's that? If one is very lucky, a vague image comes through. If you live more than 100 miles from  Alice Springs township, it requires a very tall aerial.  Where I'm going with this, is to say that unless you are a reader, it gets boring for anyone who has some cognitive brain function. That's one reason my English is so good, I read to retain my sanity.
The local wildlife is not very varied, (Dromedary camels, goats, snakes, lizards, the ubiquitous dingo, and the occasional kangaroo), and as such, there's not much hunting. Fishing is non existent unless there is a 1 in 100 year rainfall. Of course, to do anything like this, one needs to obtain permission to do so from the local indigenous tribe first!
With this slack time, I've become so bored, I've resorted to writing poetry. Expect to see some on a sidebar soon. This does not mean I have stopped editing, it's just a way to showcase my (English) linguistic flexibility, my warped sense of humour, and the way I pick up writers' faux pas. Hope you enjoy it.

Post 4

Well,still surviving, if a little bruised. I'm obviously going to have to watch my Ps and Qs a little more carefully. There are some very tender egos out there. Suggesting to an author that they may have made a mistake in their MS is fraught with danger. Where did this dreadful practice of using apostrophe s as plural come from? "Friend's" begs the question"Friend's WHAT?", whereas "Friends" refers to more than one friend, but somehow the former version seems to have become the standard usage for the latter. Just reading an ebook becomes painful with this sort of error. I mean, I've heard about self publishing, but PLEASE, get someone who knows what they are about to check the work first! You owe it to your readers, and your self respect as an author. English is a language that is tetchy, with socalled "modern variations" being given as the excuse for bad spelling or grammar, but most of the world that uses English as a means of communication uses STANDARD SPELLINGS! The poor devils who are from a background other than English speaking, and desperately trying to learn the language, don't cope well with errors in what is purportedly written English. Believe me, I know. Been there, done that. In spades, since Australians don't really speak English. Most of them come close, but not quite. There is a phrase used in this country-"Telling someone where to go", which equates to the British term "Sod off" or a ruder equivalent. DEFINITELY NOT giving someone directions. At least written English does not usually have nasal twangs in pronunciation. Sometimes, I go back to reading Nietsche in the German,just to get a break. Götterdämmerung does not have many errors left in it. For that matter,nor does a Dutch version of Napoleon's biography. Unfortunately, my French is not good enough for the original version. Still, telling an author that "roux" does not mean "roué" didn't go down well either. Why is it so hard for some people to accept that others may speak more than one language? It's almost unheard of in Europe to NOT speak more than one. For me, I feel that it's an extra string to my bow, and there's no extra charge while I'm proof reading.:-) Oh well, I'll just sit back and keep busy for now. My original offer still stands, just look at my first post. As soon as I work out how to post my prices in the side bar, I'll do so. Soon.

3rd Post 02/06/2012 (Australia)

Well, I've had plenty of time to read, as there's no incoming yet. The trouble is, I just get mad at the puerile errors I see. A breast may be a small PEAK, but to sneak a look at one is to PEEK! A fireplace has a mantel, not a cloak. ( mantle). An horse (yes, AN horse) neighs,whinnies, or nickers.It does not say nay, nor does it wear knickers! Prairie oysters are NOT BULLOCKS. Bullocks are draught oxen. 'Chard' is broadleaf vegetable, 'charred' is a state of being after fire.A plaintiff in court, may utter a 'plaintive' cry after losing a court case, but they are NOT the same thing! How can people call themselves authors, when/ if they cannot even get these simple things right. Why write 'site' or 'cite', when they mean 'sight'? ( Or any incorrect variation within these three?)No wonder migrants from a non English speaking background have trouble learning English. I read so many reviews from dissatisfied readers about ebooks, and yet very few of these books ever seem to be properly edited/proofread. I'm beginning to believe that computer generated words must carry some blame, but proof reading should catch these. So why is it not happening? Are editors/proofreaders pricing themselves out of the market? Are they demanding unreasonable fees? Is home publishing ignoring quality control, or are there people out there trying to cash in on a new market, without regard for the language? If an author is charging $0.99 for a book, and editors charge $200-300 to proofread, how eager is an author to pay such fees? Even then, you have to be lucky, and get a GOOD editor.I've seen books that have allegedly been edited at least twice, and they are still PATHETIC! I call it fraud, when they take money under false pretenses like that. When an author finishes a book, it should only need to be edited ONCE, if the editor knows his/her stuff. Well, I guess that's my gripe for this week, but I hope a few authors have read these comments and taken them to heart. Good luck, and may the muse be with you. And remember, a mews is where the falcons were kept. :-)Rob.